Please Listen!

This was sent to me by email, from a good friend, who’s daughter, Nicole, was very observant about how people don’t listen properly, as they have their own agenda’s and caught up in their own thoughts. I reckoned this was worth posting on my blog, as her poem says a lot about that “we should learn how to listen, and listen to learn…”

“One of my young friends (21yrs) and I were chatting the other day and the conversation drifted to how very few people posses the ability to listen well. We both noted how so many people tend to interrupt seemingly unable to restrain themselves from thrusting their personal opinions or prescriptive point of view upon you before graciously and courteously hearing you out fully and oh boy, beware if you disagree & don’t follow their counsel…

At a relatively young age, my daughter Nicole has already noted this behavioural pattern in so many people so often that she decided to write a poem about it. If any of us profess a desire to council or advize, or even to just be a good friend, we would do well to hear her heart in this poem as well as train ourselves to listen to the cry of others who just want to be fully and properly heard before being so quickly interrupted. I have heard it said that the most important attribute of a good counsellor is the capacity to listen and to listen well!”

Bless you – Steve


When I ask you to listen to me

And you start giving me advice

You have not done what I have asked

When I ask you to listen to me

And you begin to tell me

Why I shouldn’t feel that way

You are trampling on my feelings

When I ask you to listen to me

And you feel that you have to do something to solve my problem

You have failed me – strange as it may seem

Listen! All I ask is that you listen

Don’t talk or do – just hear me

I can do for myself – I am not helpless

Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself

You contribute to my fear and inadequacy

But when you accept as a simple fact

That I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational

Then I can stop trying to explain

But get you to understand what’s behind this irrational feeling

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious

And I don’t need advice

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them

So please, just listen and hear me

And if you want to talk, wait a minute

For your turn –

And I will listen to you

Nicole de Vries


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4 responses to “Please Listen!

  1. So TRUE!
    I must admit I am often guilty of not listening, I ‘race’ ahead wanting to conclude the communication as I often feel I don’t have the time to listen or don’t really want to. We should want to listen to others and we should give people our time!

    • Yeah Joe, I used to be like that in all my buzi-ness.with my mind racing with all my thoughts of goals, money, trying to control. In the last three years, I consciously made a point of stopping the clock and REALLY listening. This came with advice from a very respected mentor in my life…it opened up a whole new world…a different state of consciousness…the end result and conclusion…that we place too much emphasis on the clock ticking, and our issues and expediating our expectations…God’s plan for us and timing is different…this has made me truly happy and content, which also gives me the time, to really listen to what other people have to say…and that’s when the world get’s really interesting…(-:

      • Winston Cadman

        Aah this is good.
        I’m not big on interrupting, but my mind has legs of its own…sometimes it just meanders off somewhere else…

  2. So true
    people don’t need advice and for us to do for them –
    they simply need us to listen so that they can hear themselves and then can understand what is behind the irrational feelings …

    God blessed us with one tongue but two ears for a reason!

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